Why Wedding Family Photos Feel Chaotic (And How to Make Them Easier)

I am just going to lay this out there: the family photo portion of your wedding day probably isn’t going to be your favorite part. But these photographs may end up being some of the most important ones you take. My husband and I got married over a decade ago, and since then, we have lost all of our grandparents. I am incredibly thankful that we have photographs of them at our wedding, and those photographs mean more to me now than I could have understood when we took them.

So, yes, family photos matter. They can also get chaotic very quickly. People disappear to cocktail hour, someone decides they need a photograph with every possible variation of cousins, and nobody knows where Uncle Mike went. A group described as “Dad’s entire family” can also turn out to contain 30 people. After photographing hundreds of weddings, I can tell you that the easiest family photos aren’t necessarily the ones with the smallest families. They’re the ones planned well.

Start With a Simple Wedding Family Photo List

There is nothing like meeting some of your closest people on a wedding day. There are laughs, stories, hugs, and plenty of happy tears. But here’s the thing: I don’t know your family. I don’t know the difference between your grandmother and the nice lady you see every week at Food City. That’s why a family photo list is important to me. In fact, it’s the only photography shot list I request.

Before the wedding, my couples receive a questionnaire that asks about their families and family dynamics. Are parents divorced or separated? Are there family members who shouldn’t be placed next to one another? Are grandparents attending? Has there been a recent death or another family situation I should know about? Knowing these things ahead of time allows me to approach family photos without putting you in the position of explaining complicated family dynamics while everyone is standing around you.

The questionnaire also includes a basic family photo list that works well for most weddings. I recommend using that list as your starting point and adding only the combinations that are especially important to you. Every family looks different, so of course there is room to make the list your own, but keeping it intentional helps us move through this portion of the day efficiently.

A typical list might include:

• Couple + Partner One’s Parents
• Couple + Partner One’s Parents + Siblings
• Couple + Partner One’s Immediate Family + Grandparents
• Partner One + Mom
• Partner One + Dad
• Partner One + Parents
• Couple + Both Sets of Parents
• Couple + Partner Two’s Parents
• Couple + Partner Two’s Parents + Siblings
• Couple + Partner Two’s Immediate Family + Grandparents
• Partner Two + Mom
• Partner Two + Dad
• Partner Two + Parents

Helpful Planning Tips for Family Photos

You Don’t Need Every Possible Family Combination

This is where a family photo list can get out of hand pretty quickly. There’s nothing wrong with adding a few combinations outside my standard list, but I encourage couples to think about which photographs they actually want rather than trying to account for every possible grouping of relatives.

As a general rule, I recommend allowing approximately one minute for each family photo combination. A few additions aren’t a big deal, but adding 20 additional combinations can potentially add another 20 minutes to this portion of the day. Choose the photographs that matter rather than trying to create every mathematical combination of the people you’re related to.

Be Specific About Larger Family Groups

One of the most helpful things you can do when creating your family photo list is to tell me approximately how many people are included in a larger group. A description like “Groom + Dad’s entire family” doesn’t give me enough information to understand what we’re planning. Dad’s entire family could mean eight people, or it could mean 35 people, and those are very different photographs to organize.

Instead, something like “Groom + Dad’s extended family — approximately 18 people” gives me useful information right away. You don’t need to list everyone’s name in a large extended-family photograph, but I do need an approximate headcount. That helps me understand what we’re working with and whether we need to allow extra time or space.

Give Me Names When You Can

For smaller family combinations, names are incredibly helpful. Instead of simply listing “Couple + Bride’s Parents,” you can give me “Couple + Susan (Mom) + David (Dad).” Names also help my team move through the list without constantly stopping to ask you who’s who. You don’t need to spend an afternoon labeling every member of your extended family, but names for parents, siblings, grandparents, and other people who appear throughout the list can make a noticeable difference.

Family Photos Usually Happen After the Ceremony

There are certainly times when family photos make more sense before the ceremony because of the logistics of the wedding-day timeline. Most of the time, however, I photograph families immediately after the ceremony for one very practical reason: everyone is already there. Parents, siblings, grandparents, and other important family members have arrived for the ceremony and are already gathered in one location.

Before the ceremony, we are much more likely to run into someone who hasn’t arrived yet or isn’t completely dressed. After the ceremony, the challenge changes from waiting for people to arrive to keeping them from immediately disappearing. That’s why a little communication with your family ahead of time can make such a difference.

Tell Your Family They’re Needed for Photos

Please don’t let your wedding day be the first time Dad learns he’s supposed to stay after the ceremony for photographs. Let everyone included on your family photo list know ahead of time when and where they’ll be needed. If we’re taking family photos immediately after the ceremony, ask those family members to remain nearby until we’re finished rather than heading directly to cocktail hour.

Because once Aunt Julie makes it to the bar, Aunt Julie can become surprisingly difficult to retrieve. If someone does disappear, however, it’s okay. Rather than holding up the entire family photo list while someone searches the venue, we can often grab a more casual photograph with that person later during the reception.

Have Someone Who Knows Your Family Nearby

Even with names and a detailed family photo list, I still don’t know what everyone looks like. Having one person nearby who knows your family can be incredibly helpful, especially when we’re working with larger groups. They can point out the cousin we’re missing, help locate Grandpa, or tell us that the person we’re calling has already started walking toward cocktail hour.

This doesn’t need to become someone’s official wedding-day job, and I don’t need them directing the photographs. I just need someone who knows the people on the list and can occasionally answer a quick question like, “Do you see Susan?” That little bit of help can save quite a bit of time.

Family Photos Don’t Have to Feel So Formal

We call them “formal family photos,” but that doesn’t mean everyone has to look stiff. Yes, I’ll make sure we can see everyone’s faces. I’ll straighten people when needed, and we’ll usually put down purses, remove sunglasses, button jackets, and make sure nobody is completely hidden behind Uncle Bob. But these are still photographs of your people, and they should feel like your people.

You can laugh. You can hug your grandmother. Your parents can look at you instead of staring directly at my camera for every photograph. The goal isn’t to make your family look perfect or turn this portion of the day into a rigid photo session. It’s to make sure you have photographs of the people who showed up to celebrate with you.

Plan the List, Then Enjoy Your Wedding

Family photos don’t need to take over your wedding day. Start with the basic list I’ve provided, add the photographs that genuinely matter to you, give me names when you can, and include an approximate headcount for larger groups. Most importantly, make sure the people on your list know when and where they’ll be needed.

Once we’ve done that planning ahead of time, you can enjoy your wedding day. Be present with your people, take it all in, and know that we’ll be there documenting it along the way.

Erin Morrison Photography

On my desk are two photos of my wedding day. The first photo is of my cute hubby. The second photo is of my immediate family. I love them. They love me. And I am so happy that we got a photo together on my wedding day.

Aside from being a bride myself, I have also photographed over 600 weddings. I would love to be part of your memories and help you craft a wedding family photo list! Please reach out to me at any time!