A collage of four photos: a bride and groom at an outdoor ceremony, a chair with a flower and a photo of a man, a man in a suit with an older woman, and a shelf with framed photos and mementos.

How to Honor a Lost Parent or Loved One on Your Wedding Day — From the Traditional to the Unhinged

Your wedding is one of the most important milestones in your life. It is an event where you always envisioned your closest loved ones being there to support you and share your joy. This is especially true for your parents, who should be standing with you at the altar as you join two families together in love and matrimony. But life doesn’t always go the way we plan.

If you have lost a parent and want them to be there with you at your wedding in spirit, there are some wonderful ways to honor their loving memory and keep them with you at your wedding. Some are traditional, some are creative, some are (heartwarmingly) unhinged. Only your heart can tell you which is right to represent the bond between you and your deceased parent at your wedding. Let’s explore the wonderful, beautiful, and wild ways to honor a loved one on your wedding day.

Bride Honoring Her Parents

A bride should have her parents with her as she walks down the aisle. Traditionally, a bride’s mother walks with the wedding party and sits in the front row. A bride’s father will walk her down the aisle and join her mother in the front row. But what if one or both of your parents can’t be there for you in this special moment?

Sew their name into your dress.
Wear a piece of their jewelry.
Include a special flower.
Add a trinket to the bouquet.

A traditional way to honor a lost parent is to sew their name into the inner hem of your dress. This ensures they are with you as you walk down the aisle and part of your wedding memories forever. You might also wear a piece of your mother’s favorite jewelry in her memory. These items can be a bracelet, ring, necklace, or an elegant pair of earrings.

Include their favorite flower in your bouquet or nestle a special trinket or locket amongst the flowers. This will let you carry them with you. You can also enjoy their comfort as you get ready by wearing your parents’ favorite flannel or dressing gown. This would be a perfect way to honor them as you get ready on your wedding day.

Groom Honoring His Parents

For a groom, having your parents there to support you can mean the world. Your parents always dreamed of seeing you married to a wonderful person. And you may want them with you in spirit if they have already passed.

Include a special flower in your boutonniere.
Wear their favorite formal accessory.
Have memory cufflinks made.

A groom might include their parents’ favorite flower as a boutonniere so they are standing with you at the altar. Or you can wear one of your father’s favorite watches. Or how about a special tie, or their formal pocket square as part of your wedding ensemble.

One special option is to have unique memory cufflinks made with your parents’ ashes or perhaps sand from their favorite beach. It’s easy to add these items to the inside of the domed pieces. These cufflinks will always remind you of your beloved parent and how they were with you on your wedding day.

Ideas for Both Bride and Groom

There are also wonderful ideas to include a deceased parent in the wedding ceremony that work for both the bride and groom. These thoughtful methods can ensure that your beloved parent is there with you as you walk down the aisle, stand at the altar, and celebrate your nuptials with the rest of the family. They can also work for lost loved ones beyond your parents. This includes a lost sibling, a favorite aunt or uncle. This can even include a close friend who you always thought would be there with you.

Traditional Remembrance

Traditional methods tend to be formal and touching. They reflect cultural wedding traditions and find ways to honorably include a lost parent or loved one in the celebrations.

Wear their favorite perfume or cologne.
Leave them an open seat at the ceremony.
Release doves or butterflies at the ceremony.
Create a memory table.
Dance with a family member in their honor at the reception.
Use their formal wine or champagne glasses at the head table.
Share a special prayer or poem at the ceremony.
Give a toast or speech at the reception or rehearsal.
Play an old movie or voicemail of them during “their toast.”

These methods make sure that your parent’s presence is included during those special moments when they might make a toast at your wedding to celebrate this special time of shared love and family.

Donate to a charity in their name.

Donating to a charity can represent the good your parent would do in the world if they were present to celebrate with you.

Trendy Ideas to Include a Lost Parent

Weddings are also times of fun and celebration. If you know that your parent would appreciate being included festively and fashionably, try a trendy method of remembrance so they would feel honored in the spirit of the event they would most enjoy.

Have their favorite dessert at the dessert table.
Share a wedding favor they liked, such as flowering seed packets (gardener), honey jars or sticks (bee keeper), or a cigar bar.
For cocktail hour (or mocktail), make their favorite cocktail. Call it “Momma Martini” or “Dad’s Daiquiri.”
Do a “champagne tower” but make it their favorite drink (like a Diet Coke Tower).

If your parent loved good food and good fun, include their personality in your wedding plans as if they had been there to plan it with you. For example, including their favorite dessert, cocktail, or a fun detail like party favors. A champagne tower will remind everyone of their most joyful qualities and how they would have lifted you up on your wedding day.

Wear something special of theirs on the dance floor, like your mother’s cocktail dress or dad’s best smoking jacket.
Play their favorite board games at cocktail hour.

Bring your parents’ favorites to the party by including one of their best garments or favorite games during the reception. Everyone who knew them will remember their fun-loving personality and see your love for them reflected in your wedding celebrations.

Unhinged Inclusion Your Parent Would Love

Some brides and grooms love to go all-out with wild, exciting, and unusual ways to include a parent or loved one in their wedding celebrations. These examples aren’t just dreamed up. As a wedding photographer, I’ve seen a few in person (as a guest). They brought light and life to the party in remembrance of someone who could no longer be there, but would party with the bride and groom in spirit.

Hire a tattoo artist for your wedding day and tattoo a small symbolic design.
Permanent jewelry, like an anklet or bracelet, that will never come off.

If you love tattoos and each tattoo is a special part of you, then a tattoo that represents your lost parent is a great idea. Too much? How about a piece of permanent jewelry reflecting their lasting presence in your life?

Tape their photo under a seat. When guests find it, they must give a toast and take a shot in their honor.

Make your parents’ presence into a drinking game that inspires guests to remember them and have fun in their name. When the chair is found, be sure to mix it in with other chairs so the game can begin again.

Have Patron Saint candles and leave their favorite rap lyrics or party quotes on the back.

Was your parent a card who balanced religion with humor and style? This method can honor both their faith and sense of humor at once while surprising guests who discover the quotes.

Bring a life-sized cut-out of them to the ceremony.

If you have always wanted to celebrate your wedding with your parents present, a cardboard cutout can become the perfect addition to the celebrations. They can stand with you at the altar, dance at the reception, and smile from the crowd, in cardboard if not in person.

Bring Everyone You Love to Your Wedding

Weddings are a time of joy and love, but can also be bittersweet. You know your deceased parent better than anyone. You know how they would best like to be present, honored, and included in your wedding celebrations when they could not be there with you in person. Choose an idea to keep with you that has the most meaning and will bring their spirit to your special day. From the traditional to the unhinged, the heart matters most.

I want to thank the TikTok community that inspired me to write this blog post about how to honor a loved one on your wedding day. I wish you all the best on your wedding day, even if it is a little bittersweet.